No one can answer that question just you, and there'southward a lot to consider. This decision involves a lot of idea, such as planning when to stop using nativity command, determining how much fourth dimension to take off work, and figuring out if you tin still afford childcare.

Some say deciding to have a second child is even harder than deciding whether to accept a first because you're not simply talking about having a baby – you're talking nigh irresolute a family dynamic.

With each new child, y'all have to think near how that baby will affect your lifestyle, finances, work, relationships, and, of class, your other kids. And if you listen to what other parents say, expanding your family unit by one could more than than double your workload.

Of course, only about everyone – from doctors and scientists to your friends and neighbors – has an stance on infant timing and the platonic family size. Counterbalance the pros and cons and and then brand your own determination.

Hither are some things to consider before you welcome a new baby into your life.

When is the best time to have another kid?

Some couples prefer to wait at least several years. That manner, your other kids become plenty of individual attention from you and are quondam enough to comprehend how some other kid will change things. Others run into a benefit to having children close together and then they can exist playmates – and so you won't be raising modest children for years and years.

Here'due south what some BabyCenter moms have to say:

  • "My two boys are three and a one-half years autonomously, and I remember that spacing is corking," says Susan, an executive at a publishing visitor. "Since my older son was out of diapers past the fourth dimension the younger 1 was born, I could autumn in love with the idea of having a baby once more. And they're clearly in different social and developmental arenas, so I don't run across a lot of sibling rivalry. They really bask each other."
  • "My three oldest children are well-nigh a year and a half autonomously, and though it was tough when they were all babies, in many ways it was corking," says Barbara, a geriatric therapist. "They really amused each other and take stayed very close. I'thousand one of iv children myself, and I really wanted to recreate that large family feeling."
  • "My first two are three and a half years apart. That gave me fourth dimension with the firstborn lonely," says Janet, an advertisement copywriter who is significant with her third child. "I think the older the child the meliorate because they're that much more contained and tin can mentally and emotionally handle the babe.
  • "In some ways, I wish there was a bigger age gap between my second child and the new baby – they're only two years autonomously. I'm dreading having two in diapers at the same time. And I'm worried about the physical challenge of having 2 who need so much fourth dimension."

woman talking

How many kids should you have? See what other parents think.

What does the research say?

In terms of the children'south relationships with their parents, sibling rivalry, and their own self-esteem, Jeannie Kidwell, a former professor of family unit studies at the Academy of Tennessee in Knoxville, says the best time to have another infant is either when your first is younger than ane or older than four. Babies who aren't even so i don't have a sense of their exclusive status, and so they're less apt to resent a newcomer, she says. And children older than 4 have had time to enjoy attention from Mommy and Daddy – plus, they're now involved in activities of their own.

When it comes to the health of your baby, waiting two or 3 years before y'all go pregnant again may tip the odds somewhat in your baby's favor.

Studies suggest that getting pregnant within xviii months after your first child is born tin can brand it more likely that your second child volition be born early on, underweight, or smaller than usual for the number of months he was in the womb.

Inquiry also suggests that if yous get pregnant within 12 months of giving birth, you may exist at college risk of placental abruption and, if you previously had a c-section, placenta previa.

If all this sounds confusing, let'south put information technology in perspective. Researchers don't know for sure why waiting a short time betwixt pregnancies raises certain risks, but they have some ideas.

One is that the mother's body needs time to replenish vitamins and nutrients before giving nascence again. So whether you lot're pregnant, plan to become meaning, or want to wait, see your doctor early on to get the right care and advice, swallow a balanced nutrition, take prenatal vitamins with folic acid, and proceed your body as healthy as you can.

And then waiting longer is the way to get, correct? Peradventure.

It turns out that waiting more five years to have your 2d kid is as well less than platonic. Some studies testify that low birth weight, preterm birth, and smaller size are more than likely in babies whose moms let five years or more pass before they get pregnant, and the mothers are at college risk of developing preeclampsia

What else should I consider when making the decision?

Science doesn't dictate all the choices nosotros make, of course, and then here are some other issues to have into account:

Your lifestyle

Are you settled into a overnice routine with your other children? Do you lot have a practiced childcare system fix? Is everyone else finally sleeping through the night? Perhaps you've gotten to the point where you and your partner have time for each other again. Maybe you've gone dorsum to piece of work and you love it.

These are all important factors when you're thinking of having another. Remember, a newborn will take over your life. Consider whether you accept the time and free energy an baby requires, and whether your children are ready to bargain with the reality of a baby in the house.

Your fiscal situation

Coin isn't everything, but it certainly helps when you're raising a family. According to the latest government estimates, it can price more than $10,000 a year to feed, clothe, firm, and keep a child healthy. (And that'south a conservative number for many parts of the country.) Information technology's a practiced idea to have room in your monthly budget before you excogitate another child.

Consider your work state of affairs besides. Many women find it harder to keep upwardly with full- or office-time work once the second or third child comes forth. Can you beget to quit work if that seems all-time or to pay for the new baby'southward childcare if y'all proceed your chore?

"My girl is near four, and we haven't had another however because we're worried about affording everything," says Stephanie, a college lecturer. "We didn't have much money when we had our first, so nosotros know what it's like not to have the resources to pay for things. That's why nosotros desire to be meliorate prepared for the adjacent ane. Coin is a huge consideration because of childcare costs."

"The other big thing is career. I stayed with my daughter her whole starting time yr. I would like to do that with the second kid too. Nosotros want another – we're just not sure when. It already feels a niggling late to me."

Your age

Unfortunately, parental historic period matters, peculiarly for women. If y'all're 38 and yous want 2 more children, you probably don't accept the luxury of spacing them three years apart. But if yous're younger than xxx and don't have any health bug that could make conception hard, yous can be a little more flexible. (Learn more about your chances of getting meaning at different ages.)

Talk about the age question with your partner: Many people have a vision of how old they want to be when they're finished having children.

Your outlook

Exercise you and your partner hold? Sometimes one partner is ready and the other isn't. It's difficult to be in sync all the time. This can be a tricky one to settle, but the first step is to start talking about your differences.

Sit down together and hash out your points of view. You may not resolve anything right abroad, but you'll accept a better agreement of the issues. It might help to talk to others in this state of affairs.

Your eye

Sure, you can sit down with a big legal pad and run through the pluses and minuses. Merely this is one of those decisions that'southward led by the heart, so get alee and listen to yours. If you want another infant, and your partner does too, at that place may be no time similar the nowadays.

Join the conversation

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